Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Everyone is Alright - right?

Sometimes the sadness takes over and the weightloss stalls. The eating to cover up the pain consumes every thought and for a temporary while you think, "I don't care how skinny feels this shit is tasty!" But the holidays end and we come back to life, schedules and the pesky pounds we have put on over the holidays.

I have been a huge gaining streak. I didn't mistype that, I truly went out of my weight to gain and just eat whatever I wanted. I wanted to know what it felt like to be truly careless without being pregnant and having a built in excuse. So I gained, oh lord did I. I am now at 190 pounds. This is my first week of walking, eating better and looking forward to healthy food again.

My husband and I try to go for a walk every day with the kids, depending on who is home from school. We have moved to a new home, a new neighbourhood and I am really happy with it. We have a lot of decorating to do but overall it's a fabulous house with a ton of potential I am excited to work on.

Dealing with being depressed and emotional is never fun but I have remained seeing a therapist regularly and contemplating a steady schedule of taking an anti-depressant. I always pursue natural options first and they are working but not as much as I would like.

Over the summer I contracted Mono and Hepatitis A - or a strain of it. No doctor could pinpoint it, we deduced that during my brief stay in Toronto for school I must have picked it up. I went into liver failure and that scared me straight. For awhile. But once I truly got back to health and adjusted to having braces (they're on and they are ghetto fab!) the eating commenced, until last week.

Everyday I am making to-do lists, making sure I get outside or take a drive and run an errand. I am reaching out to make new friends, plan events and try my best to become the person I want to be deep down inside.

I am launching my new business and taking it very slow. I have no idea what will happen with it from here but I am determined to take things slow and enjoy the success if it comes. If it doesn't I still have fun creating some amazing confectionary treats.

So, hopefully I am back much more regularly and I will post photos and keep up. I am trying, but don't hold me to anything.

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